Baby Ogling

o·gle   /ˈoʊgəl/ [oh-guhl]
verb, o·gled, o·gling, noun

–verb (used with object)
1. to look at amorously, flirtatiously, or impertinently.
2. to eye; look or stare at.

–verb (used without object)
3. to look amorously, flirtatiously, or impertinently.
4. to look or stare.

–noun
5. an amorous, flirtatious, or impertinent glance or stare.



Ok, now that we've gotten that bit of information out of the way...



I can't help it. I just stare at her all day long. 90% of my day is staring at this beautiful baby. When the older 2 kids are home, I just want them to stay inside the house so that I can stare at the baby and then look at them and then stare back at the baby. I am mesmerized by my own children!!!



I love them. It's as simple as that--and, yet, so much more complicated.



My firstborn is a miracle. I was told at 17 that if I ever got pregnant it would take much effort. How surprised was I when, three months into my marriage, that EPT stick ended up having a plus sign in the window? My entire pregnancy with her was textbook perfect. So was she. I spent about 90% of my day staring into her face, marveling at the wonder of who she is. I still marvel at that.



Ryan is also a miracle. I didn't take my prenatal vitamins regularly at all with him. In fact, I didn't even start taking them with him until the pregnancy was more than halfway along; I was too sick to even try stomaching those horse pills. I found out later that I have a Folic Acid deficiency. The fact that Ryan got here healthy and whole is amazing! Amazing? No... Miraculous!



And then came the miscarriages... I don't even want to go into that today. I just want to marvel at the children I can hold!



And then came Elliana. It's like starting all over again. We've had the older kids out of diapers for so long that I was afraid I'd forgotten how to dress a baby. But, who knew? It's like riding a bike! It's also all new again, too. How is that possible? For something to feel so "old hat", yet feel all new? I don't know, but I'm certainly not complaining.



In the meantime, I've gone on long enough about the wonder of my children. The internet has become my journal, apparently. Especially when I'm feeling mushy. Oh, look at that: It must be time to ogle at the baby again!