What year is it?

I am so ashamed.

This morning, Ryan shocked me with an out-of-place behavior. Let me set the stage:

It's 2011. Our President is black. One (yes, just one!) of Ryan's classmates is black--well, the boy's mother is white, but his father and grandmother are African American. We see them frequently at the school and Ryan has never said anything about their appearance.

Rob and I have had many friends in our younger years who were African American, so we are certainly not racist/prejudiced/bigoted. However, Virginia had a much higher African American community; Oklahoma is VERY white. Especially the area of Oklahoma in which we live.

I drop the kids off at a cross walk outside of the school every morning. They feel big when they cross the street. Usually, the crossing guard is a very old white man. Every now and again, there is a substitute crossing guard. This morning, the substitute was a very old black man with very dark skin. Ryan took one look at him and decided he didn't want to cross there.

"Drop me off at the front of the school, Mommy!" he said.

"Why, Ryan? Just get out with your sister." I had no idea what was wrong with him.

"He looks weird." Ryan said.

"He just has a different color skin, Ryan." Aurora chimed in.

"Ryan, he's just a person--like you and me. You don't need to think any differently about him than you do about anyone else." I tried to calm him down with logic, but it didn't seem to be working.

"I just don't want to get out here, Mommy!" Ryan slumped down in his seat.

I turned the car off, completely prepared to walk across the street with Ryan to calm him down. I couldn't believe this was happening! I don't know what made him feel better, but he put his backpack on and stepped out of the car. Aurora held his hand--that is, until Ryan took his hands from her and made blinders on each side of his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at the crossing guard. I shook my head, tears welling up in my eyes. What have we done wrong here?

I thought about this man's life. He was old enough that he would have been an adult in his mid-thirties during the 1960s. This man watched Martin Luther King, Jr. march into Washington and set the stage for desegregation and equal rights. Maybe he even campaigned for the Civil Rights movement. My 5 year old didn't know about any of that.

Aurora knows. Ryan will know this, too. We must teach our children of the past so that the mistakes that were made will not be repeated. It must not be repeated.