I have always loved the sunshine. It's so energizing. As a little girl, I used to turn my face toward the sun and imagine that God was smiling down on me; that He was making me beautiful. As a teen, I used to dread the winter months when the sun would only show its shining face for a small part of the day--I would wait so impatiently for Spring and that glorious first day at the beach. As a new mom, I used to say that I was solar-powered. Bright mornings made it so easy to jump out of bed and take on the day; just as easily as dreary, rainy mornings made me want to sleep in!
But, today, that mean old sun is shining judgment and conviction into my house! You see, we have thermal-lined curtains on all our windows to keep the Oklahoma summer heat OUT. Just today, I opened all the curtains and let the sun filter in. I was shocked at what I saw! For months, we have lived in a cave, of sorts, with rather dark rooms. Also, for the same amount of months, I have been restricted in what I can and can't do, due to the nature of this pregnancy. No sweeping, vacuuming, heavy lifting, bending, stooping, squatting, etc. All those things REALLY affect your cleaning abilities!!! When you're a clean-freak, like me, it also messes with your psyche. If it wasn't for the fact that I can pick objects up off the floor with my toes (in a rather monkey-like fashion), I would feel completely useless around my house. I find myself longing to pull out my vacuum and just have a heyday! And, when people on facebook complain about "having" to do their housework, I become slightly--and irrationally--offended!
My poor husband. I really do feel bad for him. I've GOT to give him props! I don't know how he does it all. He works 40-50 hrs/wk, comes home to cook dinner, and somewhere in all that business does the laundry and cleaning, too! And, he's done a GREAT job of it! I'm just a little more neurotic than he is. Rob doesn't see the crumbs on the counter tops, or in the corners of the kitchen. He doesn't see the sheen of every sticky spot on every surface (like I do). After all, none of it is nuclear. It doesn't threaten to rise up in mutiny against my family. Why bother?
I don't know! I was a housewife/Stay-at-Home-Mom for 7 years. The house always looked the way I wanted it to look! It never (ok, rarely... OK, seldom) looked like this!!! My carpets are shot! My couches sure could use a good upholstery cleaning. Everything is dusty, including the ceiling fans--which are, as I type this, blowing MORE dust onto my already-beyond-hope mantle. (Just for the record, I can dust. I just haven't out of self-pity. That's not Rob's fault!)
So why do I bother? Nobody else in my family seems to notice the inch of dust that has accumulated on the mantle. Nor do they notice the dirt on the floor boards or cabinet doors and drawers. So, why does it bother me so? And, why is this sunshine torturing me instead of giving me the ability to enjoy this beautiful day that God has made?
Perhaps I'm just getting a little stir-crazy. I'm sure here in a couple of months I will be complaining about having to do SO MUCH laundry, or how often I actually have to vacuum in a given week. And, nobody will notice that I do it then, either!
In the meantime, I do still have my monkey-toes and my Swiffer dusters. I can still pick up large objects from the floor with an awkward toe-snatching and run a feather-light duster across my mantle. You know what makes it all better, though? When the kids come in after I pick up and say things like, "Where did all my toys go?!?!?" Yes! They noticed! Sweet, sweet victory!!!
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