The Delta Burke Collection

"That is it! I've HAD it with being pregnant! I am NOT doing this again!!!"

I think I've said those things during the final trimester of ALL of my pregnancies. And, each of those statements was true the exact moment I said them. After I had Aurora, I was NOT going to have another baby. No way, no how! Until I wanted Ryan. After I had Ryan, I was sure I wanted Rob to go get that dreadful "snip-snip" surgery to ensure I never had to go through that again.

But, here I am, nearing my 3rd trimester, and once again I think I found the last straw!

You see, being pregnant changes your entire DNA. I'm not kidding. It's like the baby somehow fuses with your genetic makeup and mutates you into this monstrous being. I don't ever remember behaving like that in public BEFORE I was pregnant. I don't ever remember thinking to myself "Yes, salad sounds good, but I must have Fruit Roll-Ups to go with it... And they MUST be red!" Yes, I do believe I have lost all control of my being.

Yesterday I had the day off work. I've been squeezing myself into my pre-pregnancy bras for long enough. It was time to give those tired pups a much-needed and well-deserved vacation. *sigh* Before I go any further, let me just say that I am not a bling-mama. My bras don't have to be animal print or BeDazzled. They just have to function and look pretty on their own.

Past-tense. I should have made those last statements past-tense. No longer am I the proud owner of pretty little bras. I now own BAZONGA BRAS! Ok. So I just have one, for now. But, there will be many more to come.

...Back to my story about yesterday. I woke up and decided that the need for doubled-up support was getting out of hand. So, I dropped the kids off at school and headed out to the store. I had no idea what I was about to get myself into. Not a clue! While scouring racks and racks of misplaced bras, I began pulling out the ones I thought were "cute". Read that as "the ones that USED to fit me"! Having resigned myself to the fact that many of the bras I pulled off the rack were just a tad itty-bitty, I began to branch out in sizes. I pulled out a variety of bras and headed to the Fitting Rooms.

Now, if you speak to ANY woman, she will agree with me: Trying on bras is terrifying. Especially when the Fitting Room doors HAVE NO LOCKS!!! Argh! But, I mustered up all my strength by thinking "Ha! The joke's on you if you have to see my out-to-here-pregnant shape!" I hadn't paid much attention to the labels on the items I had picked out. You see, I was desperate for a well-fitted topside and failed to notice that HALF of the bras I picked out were from the Delta Burke line! *gasp*

For those of you who don't know me, I am not a Delta Burke size--normally. But, nothing about this pregnancy has been normal.

Once it was all said and done, I scooped up all my "discards" and headed to the register with my 1 item (yes, all that for ONE). I was rather proud of my purchase, however. It was pretty (for a BAZONGA bra) and it only cost $6.50 with all the discounts and coupons I had.

So, in spite of my Delta Burke experience, the ladies are happy today. My ego is shot, but if my other 2 childbirthing experiences have taught me anything, I've got a lot more ego-hammering to look forward to.