The Longest Move Ever!

It has now been 6 months since we learned we were moving from Tulsa, OK to Charlotte, NC.  Six months of making decisions, 6 months of living in temporary housing with temporary furniture and beds on boxsprings on the floor.  I know, I know.  It could be worse.  It really could have been in a lot of ways!  We have been blessed over and over again with this move.

Every time I think "I just can't handle it anymore--something's gotta give!", something gives!  In a good way!  When I thought "We have GOT to get that house in Tulsa SOLD!", we got a bid for a Lease-Purchase that week.  When I thought "We have GOT to find a place to live permanently", we found a house in our price range, put a bid on it and it was accepted.  However, that was a short sale and we then had to wait and wait and wait on Bank of America to answer our bid and let us know if it was "good enough".  When we placed the bid on August 13th, BoA asked for us to have a closing date of October 31st.  Our lease at our apartment ended September 28th.  We knew there was a chance we could get an answer before our lease was up, but we were also aware that short sales could take anywhere from 30-90 days to be answered by the bank.

So, we waited and waited some more.  When our lease was up at our apartment, I had to find a place for us to live.  For one month.  With 3 kids, a dog and a rabbit!  Oh, yeah, and the Democratic National Convention was taking place here in Charlotte.  ALL of the temporary housing was taken.  Fortunately, the DNC would be gone by the time we needed a place, but when I was calling around to get everything set up, the prices were astronomical!  We couldn't afford a place for just a month.  Because of Equal Housing Opportunity laws, we couldn't find an apartment in a family-friendly area with a lease option of any less than 3 months.  IF we were to close on a house Oct 31st, that option just wasn't going to work.  That Oct 31st date was crucial.  Just when I thought "We are going to be HOMELESS in October!", something came up on Craigslist where a woman wanted out of her lease a month early because her home was ready to move into.  Jackpot!  So, I jumped on that and we got that all set up.

We ran into a problem when we were moving into the apartment--it was overrun with FLEAS!!!  The complex didn't know the lady had a cat and, apparently, the lady didn't know her cat had fleas!  There were so many of them!  I counted 13 on Ellie's right leg--just one leg!  Immediately, I called the front office and asked what I should do.  Two hours later, an exterminator was in the apartment, explaining it could take as much as 3 weeks before they all die.  I had to vacuum every day and empty the vacuum canister each time after I vacuum.  I have been doing that EVERY DAY and we are finally waking up without flea bites.  Talk about a nightmare.  But, God was faithful.  We didn't have the money for an extended stay or a furnished apartment (we're talking 3 times my budget!), and who's to say that any of those places wouldn't have had roaches, or bedbugs, or anything even worse.  There was a neighborhood that did month-to-month leases and it looked like it was our only chance, but when I called the police station to get the crime statistics there...  Let's just say it was a VERY bad neighborhood.  Rob and I decided we would live in our station wagon before living there.

So, we waited another week after moving into this second temporary apartment and we heard nothing else from the bank.  Our mortgage broker said it would take 3 weeks once we got confirmation from BoA to go through with the purchase.  When Oct 9th rolled around and we still hadn't heard anything, we decided to remove our bid, fire our realtor (who refused to take us to see any other houses because he was so sure we would hear something "any day now".  He'd been saying that for 3 weeks!), and find a new realtor.  Day one with the new realtor, we found a house, placed a bid on it and it was accepted!!! 

We are now in the process of purchasing this house.  It's not as new as the short sale house and the kitchen and bathrooms, though they are all in full working order, need to be updated.  Blessedly, it's available and it's in our price range.  Because we didn't truly sell the house in Tulsa just yet, we have a VERY limited budget.  Yes, God is good all the time.  Charlotte has taken such a hit in the housing market as a result of the economy.  As a result, we can purchase a house for our needs in our price range in a pretty decent area and the house is not a member of a Home Owners Association.  Not HOA!  After our run-ins with the HOA in Tulsa, I am ecstatic about this feature!!!  I could paint my house purple, put red shutters on it and a green roof above it all and no one could knock on my door and tell me that it doesn't meet the neighborhood criteria.  Now, the house has gray vinyl siding with green vinyl shutters and a safe gray roof, so I'm probably not going to go with that color scheme ever.  My point is: I could if I darn well want to, though!  Being completely rebellious in nature--both Rob and I are, and so are our children, who inherited that lovely characteristic from us--this is such a relief to us.  I don't have to worry about keeping up with the Jones', or whether my grass is the proper length.  I don't have to worry about what happens if my kids or my dog dig up my front azaleas.  My house doesn't have to maintain a status quo.  And, this is a good thing! 

I'm so weary after these many months.  I don't want to have to worry about impressing you, or my neighbors, or anyone who drives by.  I just want a place where my children can stomp on the floors and play without bothering the person downstairs.  I want a place where we can bring in our belongings PERMANENTLY.  Somewhere that I can place my furniture and sit on it again (oh, how I have missed my nice, fluffy, cushiony couch!).  I'm ready to have my bed up on its frame and off the ground.  I want my pictures up on the walls--I'm so tired of staring at blank white walls.  I can't wait to be able to bring out my Fall decorations and prepare for Thanksgiving with my family--and then to put the Fall decorations away and set up for the Season of true Thanksgiving--Christmas.  I'm ready for it. 

I'm grateful for the provisions my Father in Heaven has given me these many months.  I've been a brat many a time, asking God WHEN He is going to prove faithful; it's been stressful and I've been to the end of my rope a few times.  However, there has not once been a time that I have doubted that we are exactly where He wants us to be.  I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am in this time around.  That's more than I can say about the move out to Tulsa--I was a lot younger then.  I have a much more mature and respectful view of God now.  He is not out for MY best interests; He is out for His Glory.  I don't have to like how He goes about glorifying Himself; I just have to know that He is to be the Glory in my life.  If it takes 6 months to get me settled into a city to teach me that I am to like it no matter what happens, then so be it.  I still love it here and I am still waiting for His calling on my life here.  We have not found a church home yet because we have not settled into a home-home yet!  But, we are still finding new ways to worship as we visit churches each week.  He is still the God of the Universe and I am still His Child.  Nothing has changed except my coordinates on the globe.  My coordinates in Heaven are still the same; as are His.  Praise Him!

Ryan's Book, Funny of the Day

Ryan has become quite a good reader over the past year.  In fact, he even writes his own books.  Just tonight, I ran across his newest masterpiece, "How to be a Vet" by Ryan.  Lately, Ryan has been expressing his desire to become a veterinarian.  I have told him there is a lot of school involved and he is definitely smart enough to do well in school.  He says he wants to get good grades so he can get into "Vet school".  I'm not really sure where he learned about "Vet school", but I'm so grateful he has!  He is really passionate about this!

How to be a Vet, by Ryan

To be a Vet, you have to take care of pet's.

The End.

I'll tell you what, when this thing comes out in print, I'm buying a dozen copies!  New York Times Best Sellers List, here he comes!

The Actual "B Word"

Yesterday morning, while I was making the kids' lunches for school, Ryan came up to me and asked, "Mommy, why can't I say the 'B word'?"

Stupidly, I asked, "What 'B word'?"  I was thinking that maybe he was talking about "butt", which is considered a bad word at school.  Never in a million years did I think he would say the word that came out of his mouth in the following moment.

Yes, he said it!  That "B word".  I was so shocked, I sucked in a breath and asked him where he heard that word.  He never did say where he heard it, but I explained to him what it meant and how derogatory it was.  I further explained that it was a word meant to tear people down, especially girls, and make them feel unloved. 

Ryan was listening rather intently and I further explained that, because we are loved by God and we want other people to know that God loves them, too, we ought to only say words to people that would encourage and uplift them.  After all, we may be the only way people see God's love in this world.  He seemed to absorb that for a moment and I thought that would be the end of the conversation.

How could you expect anything but love from this face?

In the car, on the way to school, he brought the subject up again.  This time, he was contemplating getting in trouble by saying the word.  He asked what would happen if Aurora said the word, if he said the word, how much trouble each of them would be in and what would happen as punishment.  I explained that Mommy and Daddy would be more disappointed than angry because we know our children are smarter than that and are more loving than that.  Besides, have you ever heard either of us say bad words?  He admitted that he hadn't.  (Thank God! I have let a few quietly slip in near-misses while the kids were in the car.)

I haven't heard anything about this subject since yesterday morning, but I sure hope he took to heart what I said.  When Aurora was younger and asking about these words, I explained to her that curse words were used by people with limited vocabulary; I told her that smart people were able to come up with more intelligent descriptions than curse words.  Basically, I said curse words were used by people not smart enough to use words that would end up on a college entrance exam.  That spoke to her.  Aurora is more interested in being smarter than everyone else than she is interested in being like everyone else.  Ryan, however, is a different story; he just wants to fit in and have people like him.  I have to appeal to his social side, in contrast to appealing to Aurora's intelligence.

Whew!  We'll see how long this holds out.  I can't believe that my Kindergartner is coming home with these words.  Guess it means I'm old if I can say things like, "When I was in Kindergarten, the worst words we knew were 'fart' and 'stupid'."  Yup, I'm old.  I know this because of my next line:  What is happening to the youth of our nation?

FOD: That Apple

I'm instructing Ryan to clean up the play area in the kitchen.  He had a tough time getting the floor straightened up, so when I told him that he needed to clean up the table, it didn't go over too well.

"Why!?!?!?" --Ryan

"Because it's a big mess.  Santa Claus is coming tonight and we need to show him that you're a good boy, so clean up the mess, please." --Me

"Oh, dag-gummit!" --Ryan

"Wow.  Where'd he learn that from?  Huh, Mommy?" --Aurora, implying that I taught Ryan that phrase.

I guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, as they say.  Both my speaking children just repeated my lines back to me in perfect form.  I'm doomed! 

Doomed, I tell you!!!

Of course, it does make me feel better to know that they will have children someday and hear these same phrases repeated back to them, as well. 

Muahahaha!

Birthday Mayhem

Today was Ryan's 6th Birthday Party.  It was spectacular!

 
Apparently, the last full Saturday before Christmas is a GREAT time to have a party where lunch is served.  Moms were more than happy to bring their kids with gifts in tow and drop them off for 2 hours while they got those last-minute Christmas items.  We had such a great attendance, I think I might plan his party on the same Saturday next year.  Last year, we only had 2 kids come from his class.  This year, he had BOTH of his best buddies from school!  He was stoked!

 

We started off expecting only 8 kids, but had to change our plans when moms kept sending us their RSVP.  By the morning of the party, we expected 12 kids.  When you include our 3 kids, that means we had 15 kids in this house!  I've never been more glad for the square footage of this house than I was today!  It didn't feel overwhelming for a single minute.  Ok, maybe for a minute...  But, the kids were all well-behaved, played nice together and had a blast!  We only did one craft, one game and of course all the actual party activities (lunch, cake, presents).  The rest of the time, we filled up with free play.

I do have to mention, however:  Of the 12 kids in attendance, 5 of them were girls--at a Captain America themed birthday party!!!  I became even more suspicious when Ryan opened his presents and 2 of the girls wrote "I like you" in their cards to him....  I think we may be raising a little stud.  And, he may already be caught in a love triangle!  Oh, those sweet Kindergarten romances.

We turned this....

...Into THIS!!!

Our craft was a small red frisbee that we turned into Captain America shields (see above).  The kids just thought those were the best things ever and spent the majority of their free play using their shields against each other.  As far as I know, nothing is broken as a result of those little frisbees.

 

At the end of the afternoon, the kids were enjoying Ryan's birthday loot together.

Best Laid Plans

So, remember all those 10 Year Anniversary ideas I was playing around with?  Well, as it turns out, none of them were really feasible.

Originally, we were going to celebrate with my side of the family at Walt Disney World in Orlando, FL.  That is, until we tried to nail down a date that we ALL could go.  Since the kids are in school, Rob works retail, my sister is in college and my Mom and Paul have to work around Paul's crazy ship-check schedule with Northrop Grumman, we just couldn't seem to find a week that worked for everyone.

So, we thought about sending the kids to my Mom's house and heading off to New Orleans or somewhere else on the Gulf Coast near her house.  That idea lasted a whole 10 minutes.  You see, my mom's house wasn't child-friendly when my sister and I were kids, so there was NO WAY I was going to send my 3 hurricane-force children to her house.  I can't tell you how many Hummel, Lladro, and Capodimonte figurines I broke in my life.  I'm sure that I owe her a fortune!

Then, I found this great resort out in New Mexico that I thought looked like a great retreat for me and Rob.  It had a spa (for me) and a golf course (for Rob)!!!  And, it was 10 hours from everywhere.  We could go and pretend that the whole wide world didn't exist for a day or two.  Just the two of us.  We could make it if we try...  Ok, so I got carried away there.  Going to NM would have meant that Mom had to come here to watch the kids for a few days.  Since she's coming here at the end of December, she didn't think they could make a trip back so soon for our anniversary at the end of February, first of March.  So, we had to improvise.

Which leads me to our newest plan: Here in Tulsa. Mom and Paul are coming in December 26th, give or take, and they will be here for Ryan's birthday on the 28th and Ellie's First Birthday on the 30th.  This will also mean that Mom and Paul will be present for all 3 of my children's First Birthdays!  That makes me happy--that they are willing to make the special efforts to be here for things that I feel are so important.  I know that my children aren't going to remember their 1st birthdays, but I will.

So, between the 2 birthdays, Rob and I will probably be staying at a hotel here in town.  If you see us out and about on the 29th, pretend you don't know us; we are pretending we're on a special anniversary trip and we don't want to feel "local".  Help us with the facade, ok?

I must end this post saying how blessed we are to have lasted 10 years.  Of course, I'm the blessed one to have found ANYBODY to put up with me and all my idiosyncrasies for this long!  Rob's so easy to live with (no matter what I say to the contrary) and he's a better husband than a girl like me ever dreamed of having!

Date Night aka "Yes, We're Married."

Tonight, our church had a Children's Party and all 3 of our kids were being watched by SOMEBODY ELSE!!!  So, Rob and I took this opportunity to go on a date.  Now, let me set the stage for our dating experiences:

Rob and I met in Feb 2001, started dating in August and were engaged by Christmas Eve 2001.  Then, we had a whirlwind engagement, getting married March 1, 2002.  We didn't really have a whole lot of time to create fun, exciting date nights; we really just liked hanging out and watching movies, or going bowling and playing pool.  Nothing overly exciting.  We've now been married nearly 10 years and have 3 kids (which means date nights are few and far between, but are much appreciated when they come).  Our date nights usually consist of dinner and a movie.  If there isn't a movie out that we are willing to pay to go see, we opt instead to go walking around the mall after our dinner--which is what we did tonight.

I got a little dolled up tonight, I'll admit that.  More so than usual... I guess, since I got asked if I was Rob's girlfriend not only once, but 3 different times!  When we were at the restaurant, the waitress asked if our check was going to be separate!!!  I smiled, stifling a laugh, and said it would be all on one ticket.  Now, I have a blingy set of diamonds on my left ring finger, but I guess I should have cleaned them up before we went out.  While we were walking around the mall, I had 2 separate people in 2 different stores assume we were unmarried again--one was just another customer and the other was a store clerk.  We were not hanging all over each other, sucking face and being all PDA, so I don't know what the deal was.  It kind of made me wonder if I was a little overdressed/made-up.  I was wearing dress pants (because they were the only ones that didn't cause muffin top) and a chocolate brown knit faux-wrap shirt, topping off my look with some copper-colored jewelry from Premiere Design.  Nothing overly fancy; even my heels were a simple brown.  Rob was dressed well, too, wearing khaki pants, a light blue polo shirt and his black wool jacket.

Sitting here typing all this in my yoga pants and fluffy slippers while Rob plays his video game kinda makes me want to giggle, though.  It's amazing that, after all these years, we still look like a couple very much in the first stages of dating--doting on one another and paying attention to what the other says as though it's the most wonderful feeling in the world to just be together.  At least, that's what I'm telling myself they saw.  Wouldn't it be awful if instead they were actually witnessing us being awkward together.  What if they assumed we were on a first date?  Oh, I don't even want to go down that train of thought...

I'm going to live in fantasy land and think that we looked very nice together and people assumed we were in puppy love.  That's where I live; that's how I roll.  In La-La Land.