FOD: The Devil in New Orleans

FOD: Funny Of the Day

I am attempting to find an alternative 10 year anniversary getaway, since our Disney vacation just doesn't seem plausible. In talking with Rob about a New Orleans, LA getaway, I mentioned that my mother said to stay away from Bourbon Street. Aurora asked why we had to stay away from Bourbon St. I told her that's where people get really drunk and we just don't want to deal with that on our anniversary vacation.

While I was explaining this, Rob said over me "Because that's where the devil lives!" Aurora started laughing and said "The devil lives on Bourbon Street!?" Ryan, not to be outdone by all the hoopla, said "The devil takes drugs!" Aurora's reply, "No, the devil eats your souls!" took the cake, though.

Now, I'm thinking that we should look for a more demure location for our romantic anniversary getaway... Perhaps somewhere that isn't infested with local soul-eating, drunken, drugged-out devils.

Poor Aurora (FOD)

It has been a rough day here in the Rose household. These kids are so restless and this Mom is ready for school to start again. (12 more days--HOORAY!!!!)

I have had a short fuse today and the kids have pushed every button imaginable--even the baby! Now, I preface this with: I do not spank my baby. At all!

But, the older 2, I do still spank. Aurora, not so much anymore, since you can talk things through with her, but Bubba got multiple spankings today. He was told to do things and didn't; he was told not to do things and did them anyway. It's been a tough day for him.

Anyway, to get to the point: Aurora was sent to bed early tonight because she refused to eat her pizza. What warm-blooded American child doesn't like pizza? This is always a contentious point in our household. Furthermore, we have pizza once a week, so you think she'd learn by now, right? Oh, no. Not Aurora. She's a stubborn one.

As a result, I sent her to bed. Ellie was FINALLY taking a nap during our dinner time, so Ryan and I got to eat together--just the two of us. That doesn't happen very often, so I took full advantage of it. We ate our slices together and talked about The Avengers (well, as much as my knowledge would allow us). After dinner, we ate ice cream right out of the container. It was a sweet time.

When I was getting Ryan out of the shower tonight, Aurora opened her door and informed me that I loved Ryan and Ellie more than I love her. I said I didn't, so she downgraded their status to "Favorites". I told her that if I had any favorites, SHE would be my favorite first-born, Ryan would be my favorite son, and Ellie would be my favorite baby. Not to be outdone, I further mentioned that if Ryan was my favorite, why did he get 3 spankings today and she got none? That threw her for a loop. Her response was great, though:

"You've given me, like, 5 spankings today!" she said.

"I haven't spanked you once!" --Me.

"Yes you have. You've given me brain spankings. Those are the worst!"

I just laughed and kissed her goodnight. Where does she come up with these things?

Funny of the Day via the Older 2

Aurora wears an old shirt of mine from my pre-Rob days. It is a graphic tee that says "BOYS ARE LIKE PARKING SPACES" on the front, with "all the good ones are taken" written on the back. Ryan can now read. He asked why all the good ones are taken.

Aurora answered: They're all married.

Ryan: Who's Mary?

Aurora: *sigh* No, Ryan, they are all MARRI-ED!!!

Ryan: Oh. Why are they all married?

Aurora: Well, the good ones are all married. The other ones are smokers and drinkers. No one wants to marry them! They stink!

Ryan: Oh! It's a good thing they're not married. We don't want a stinky Daddy.

Me: Shakes head and covers smile.

Yesterday's Funny of the Day

Ryan has been watching Super Hero Squad a lot lately. As a result, Aurora has been watching it, too. Last night, they had a conversation about the superheroes that went a little something like this:

Ryan: Are superheroes real?

Aurora: No, I don't think so. The only person with super powers that I know of is God.

Ryan: Yeah. He has the power of love.

Rob and I looked at each other and just smiled. I thought I was going to melt with the absolute sweetness that was oozing from my children. It kind of makes me wonder: Why don't we, as adults, ever think about stuff in that way?

Aurora's FOD (Funny of the Day)

Aurora's room looked like the Tazmanian Devil took a spin through it. I let her know last night before bed that she would have to clean it after school today. (I have to give nearly 24 hours of notice to psych her up for the task.) So, today when she got home she made sure to set the stage for proper bedroom cleaning:

"Closed for cleaning"

...And he gets paid more than me!

I had my 32 week OB appointment today and because it was colder out this morning, I decided to wear my long-sleeved "Baby by Rob" shirt. I figured somebody at the doctor's office would appreciate it. Boy, was I ever right!

Apparently, one of the OB's there LOVED my shirt and wanted to take a picture of it to send to his wife (?). Whatever, sure you can. So, my nurse placed me in an examination room to wait for the doctor who wanted to take the picture. As we were waiting, Rob sat in the chair next to the door and the two of us were just goofing off until he walked in. The doc looks at my shirt and reads it, "'Baby by Rob'." He looks up at me, "Who's Rob?" Seriously?!?!?

Rob perks up in his chair, all kinds of offended, "I'm Rob!" he says. I about died!!! But, wait, it gets better: The doctor looks at my husband and offers his hand, saying, "I'm Rob, too!" I had to literally shake my head to make sure I heard him right. And then, the doc says "That was awkward." He ended up taking the photo of the shirt, but Rob and I looked at each other afterward and just shook our heads.

This doctor, who has spent the vast majority of his adult life in higher education, deserves the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he really isn't that inept. Our thought was that maybe he didn't see Rob sitting in the chair as he walked past him...? Certainly he should notice a rather large man sitting in a chair in this small exam room. Maybe not, though. Who knows? I mean, this guy gets paid a LOT more than I do and he seemed in this instance to have less brain than me. And, that's saying a lot coming from a pregnant woman!

The famous quote of the day, however, is "I'm Rob!" The look on Rob's face during this exchange was priceless! He was actually offended that the doctor would think that he would come to an appointment like this with a woman who was NOT carrying his baby. If he's not Rob, then who the heck is he and what the heck would he be doing there? Sheesh!

Ryan's Funny of the Day

It was nap time and I told the kids they could come out at 3:30. At 3:15, Ryan started asking "What minutes do we have?", meaning "How much longer do I have to be holed up in my room?".

At 10 minutes, he counted to 10. "Mommy! I counted all the way up to 10! Can I come out now?" No, Ryan. (He must have gotten distracted for a few minutes, because I didn't hear from him again until 3:27.)

At 3 minutes, he asked again. "Awww, that's a baby number! 1... 2... 3...! Can I come out now?" No, Ryan.

At 2 minutes, he asked again! "That's another baby number," he said and slammed his door shut in disgust.

At 1 minute, I just decided to let the poor boy out!

Ryan's Funny of the Day

Rob was cleaning the living room and Ryan really wanted to pet the rabbit. We told him to wait until after Daddy was vacuuming. As soon as the vacuum turned off, Ryan looked at me and said, "Mommy, do you know what Hershey is?" Puzzled at what his current train of thought could possibly be, I looked at him and asked "What?"

"Hershey is a little black varmint!"

*Oh, my*